Today, unlike yesterday and the day before, was a good day. It will be like this. some days will be terrible and I will be miserable, and some days I will feel good and optimistic. I dropped T off at daycare, picked up my uniform (scrubs) from Philly, drove back, ate lunch, picked T up, and went into New Hope to meet another mama and baby. This mama in particular was someone I knew from high school, haven't seen since then, but I have to say how much of a relief it is to find another mom friend here in NJ. I finally had great mom friends in Charlottesville and had to leave them. It was something I would miss more than a lot of things. My old friendships are no less wonderful, but there is something significant and important about having friends with children. You need to be able to relate, to share, to complain, to ask advice, to commiserate. So today I got to do that, and it was really good.
School starts on monday. Right now, I feel like I can do this, and I'm okay, and I can be happy. Today Tessa was happy and we smiled and laughed together and she wasn't cranky all day and miserable. She reminded me today why we are where we are. Because we are going to have a better life. This is all a learning curve... I'm going to have to figure it out as I go along, and as with anything, I will get used to it and it will be my norm. Eventually it will feel like it has always been this way. And then things will be okay and we will have the life that was the goal, the end result. I have this baby, this sweet, smart, feisty baby who has my smile and who, like me, is hard to make laugh... We are a team. We're going to do this together. She is my heart and soul, my motivation, my reason. I feel very mama-bear right now. I'm going to do this, and we're going to be okay.
I found this today. It was good to hear someone who does and feels the same way I do. She left her husband when her baby was a few months old.
http://mssinglemama.com/2007/11/19/single-motherhood-turns-out-not-so-easy-but-not-so-tough-either/#comments
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment