status quo

This comes as a surprise...
Everything is OKAY. As in, my life doesn't feel fucked up and I don't have a million problems and am super stressed and/or depressed and feel like I can't do anything right and it is out of control...
It's been a while. Hello, copacetic, meet Kate.
And the funny thing?
Nothing has changed. I think maybe, just maybe... I've got the hang of this and have accepted that it's going to be tough but I feel totally empowered by this, all of this, in a weird feminist liberating way. And if you know me, you know I'm not some kind of huge feminist.
But I feel like: SHIT, check me out, I got the only 100 on a test in my class and am already doing well and wrote some bangin papers and am totally into school and still manage to take care of my baby girl and wear clean clothes (almost) every day and at the end of the day, I come home and feel.... Happy. And I feel like I can do anything. And that when I get through this program, I will be able to do anything.
Maybe it's me, maybe it's just how things are happening, whatever.. I feel good.